


a place among the ashes

by orphan_account



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Spiritual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 03:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13695936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."





	a place among the ashes

The phone rang at 4:00 in the afternoon. David looked up from the computer, startled. Most people he knew called or texted him on his cell phone. In the three months he had been home, he could count on one hand the number of calls they’d received on the landline.

Slowly, he rose from the desk and walked the short distance between his office and the kitchen. He picked the phone up on its fifth ring. “Hello, this is the Lieberman residence, David speaking.”

He grinned and fought back laughter at his overly formal tone. He had thought that being isolated from the world for over a year had stunted his social skills, but no. He was as polite and affable as ever.

There was a long period of silence on the other end. David was about to think the call had been dropped when finally someone spoke. “Uh...hey David. How you doin’?”

“Frank?” David’s heart skipped a beat. He pressed his free hand to his forehead. Tears blurred his vision, and he took a deep breath before continuing. “Where are you?” he asked, his voice hoarse and thick with emotion.

From the other end, David heard a harsh intake of breath. “I’m...around,” Frank replied. He cleared his throat and waited for David to speak.

‘Around.’ It had been three months, 12 long weeks without contact of any kind. David hadn’t known what to expect, but after living in such close quarters as long as they had, he’d held onto hope.

“How are you doing?” David echoed. He tugged nervously at his lank red hair, pulling the strands until his scalp burned. He hissed at the pain and cursed in Yiddish.

Frank laughed. “Sounds like maybe you’re not doin’ so good,” he said. “Me, I’m good. It, uh, took a while, but I think I’ve finally gotten to a good place. I got a job, an apartment, I’m staying out of trouble.” He paused to take a breath. “I even let that hipster beard grow out again.”

David chuckled and pictured it in his mind. “Cool. I mean, I know I made fun of it, but I actually liked your hipster beard. I guess you let your hair grow out, too?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty much how it was when you first saw me. What about you? You let yours grow out much more, you’ll look like a moonshiner. Or a cult leader.”

“Nope, I trimmed the beard and had my hair cut. You could say I’ve regained my place among respectable society.” 

“Yup,” Frank snorted with laughter. “Sounds like you’re making your way to the top. I should take a few pointers from you.”

They laughed together, enjoying each other’s company even if only over the phone. “It’s good to hear from you,” David said when their laughter died down. It was more than an understatement. His heart was racing, and he was taking deep breaths as if he were running, nearly hyperventilating.

“Yeah, you too. Listen...I, uh, I kind of called to ask you a favor…”

“Sure thing, whatever you want.”

“Okay, cool. Good. Uh...first, can you come open the door?”

* * *

Frank was right, he looked almost the same as he had when David first saw him. No, David decided, he looked better. He’d gained a little weight. He looked well. His eyes shone and he smiled. “Hey.”

Wordlessly, David wrapped his arms around him. For a moment, Frank stiffened, unaccustomed to being touched. David relaxed his grip, and Frank returned the embrace, awkwardly patting the taller man’s back.

David stepped back to give him space. He sniffed and swiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Hey, Frank. Come on in.” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. Frank came in and shut the door.

David fidgeted while Frank looked around, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m the only one here,” he explained before the question was asked. “I, uh, forgot what today is, and Sarah was pretty...put out about it.”

In response, Frank stared at him. He stared for so long that David blushed and rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. “What?” he asked bluntly, wishing - not for the first time - that he had the ability to read his friend’s mind.

“Nothin’, it’s just - you’re Jewish, right?”

“Yeah…” David nodded slowly, not quite following. “At least, ethnically speaking. You saw my...headstone.” He frowned and scratched his head absently.

“Ashkenazi, if you wanna get technical. My grandparents on both sides are from Germany. They got out of Dodge in ‘33 before the shit hit the fan. And you’re Italian, yeah? What has that got to do with anything?”

“I didn’t think Jews knew anything about Ash Wednesday. Or that they gave a shit, even if they did. Like, no offense, but I don’t give a shit about Hanukkah and all that.”

“Oh.” David snorted with laughter, shooting a gob of phlegm out of his nostrils. “Ah, shit.” He wiped the snot on his sleeve. As Frank watched, he took the hoodie off and tossed it in a heap on the floor. The plain white T-shirt underneath was soaked with sweat, but he figured that was less repugnant.

“I’m not offended, Frank,” he said lightly. “In fact, I don’t give a shit about ‘Hanukkah and all that,’ either. Like I said, I’m ethnically Jewish, the way you’re ethnically Italian. I’m not religious or anything. I don’t even believe in God.”

Frank folded his arms. “I don’t either,” he said, his lips pursed. “That still doesn’t keep me from doing my religious duties.”

“Aha, I guess that’s Catholic guilt for you.” At Frank’s scowl, he held his hands up. He wasn’t sure if it was a gesture of apology, surrender, or both. He had clearly hit a nerve.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I went to synagogue for years after I knew I didn’t believe. First, because I was a minor and my parents made me. I had a bar mitzvah and everything. Then, after I grew up and left home, I did it for Zach and Leo.”

“Didn’t that bother you? Having your kids indoctrinated into that bullshit?”

“Nope.” David grinned and sat down on the couch. “For all the superstitious crap, you can’t knock the good stuff. Family values, tradition, being a good neighbor. Those are the things I wanted my kids to take in.” He patted the seat beside him and Frank reluctantly sat down.

“Besides, when they were still little - Zach was 7 and Leo was 9 - they came to me one day and said they didn’t believe in God. They thought I’d be mad, but when they found out we were all in the same boat, they just begged me not to tell Sarah. Like I would.”

“Why, does Sarah believe?”

David shook his head. “No, but she thinks the kids do. It would break her heart to know they stopped believing in God right around the time they stopped believing in Santa Clause.”

“We’re Christmas tree Jews,” he joked when Frank raised an eyebrow. “Every major federal holiday that gets them out of school or me and Sarah off work, we celebrate. So what was that favor you were gonna ask me?”

“Uh, right. You and me are friends...right?”

“Yes.” David nodded and waited for Frank to get on with it. When he remained silent, David patted his shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture.

“So, since it is Ash Wednesday, and you’re my friend, I was wondering…”

“Yeah?” 

“Will you go to church with me?”

* * *

Because Catholics did not allow non-Catholics to take part in religious services, Frank took David to an Evangelical Lutheran church in the city.

The place was packed, and David tried not to stick out like a sore thumb as he and Frank sat down in the back pew. He was sure he was being paranoid, but it never felt comfortable being the outlier. He picked up the large red hymnal from the rack, opened to a random page, and ducked his head.

As the music began, Frank placed a hand on his back. David tensed, his muscles aching as the doors opened. The pastor and choir members began a processional, the organ blaring. David, of course, didn’t recognize the song, but Frank hummed the melody. He rubbed David’s back, his touch soothing the discomfort.

He felt so comforted, in fact, that he fell asleep. He was awakened some time later when Frank gently nudged him. David yawned and rubbed his eyes. He placed the hymnal back in the rack. He and Frank stood and joined the line of parishioners.

The line moved slowly while the organist played a slow, solemn hymn. Frank kept his hand on David’s back. When they reached the pastor - a short, squat woman with piercing blue eyes - he released him. David stared at her forehead to avoid looking her in the eye. He was sure that if he did, she would know he was a fraud.

The pastor touched his forehead and drew a black cross with the ashes. “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

* * *

The drive back to the Liebermans’ house passed in companionable silence. David kept the radio on, tuned to a local classical music station at a low volume. Frank fell asleep as David drove over the George Washington Bridge. His soft snoring was the only accompaniment to the Goldberg Variations.

When David pulled into the driveway, he saw that Sarah and the kids were back. He sighed and turned the car off. Frank woke up and stretched. “So they’re home,” he said simply. “Where do you think they went?”

“Sarah took them out to eat. Some fast food or pizza place, I’m sure.”

Frank grunted and unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Wait,” David said. “Do you want to come in for a minute?”

“Nah,” Frank shook his head. “Whatever happened, I don’t wanna get between you and your old lady. I mean, any more than I already have.”

“Please, Frank.” David gulped and leaned his head against the steering wheel with an exaggerated sigh. “Of all the holidays to forget, Valentine’s Day is the worst.”

“Valentine’s Day, huh? On the same day as Ash Wednesday. No shit. She’ll be pissed about this for a long time.” He patted the top of David’s head in commiseration. He twined his fingers in David’s hair, caressing his scalp.

David groaned miserably. “How did things get so messed up between us?” His voice was slightly muffled by the steering wheel.

“I don’t know, buddy. The last person I considered my best friend did a real number on me. He betrayed me, y’know, in the worst possible way. When I first met you - I can’t lie - you scared me shitless.”

“What?” David looked up, the ashes smeared across his forehead reminding Frank of a corpse. “I scared you? How?”

“You knew too much. Knowledge is power for some, but other times all it’s good for is to get you killed. I wanted to kill you, David. I thought you were a threat.”

“Uh-huh…” David murmured. He didn’t know why he was so surprised. In the early days, he’d been afraid for his life every moment. It was only after several weeks of their forced partnership that he felt safe. Within two months, he considered Frank his best friend.

“Where do we go from here?” he asked numbly. “We can’t stay in this car all night, but I don’t wanna leave you.” In spite of his best efforts, David’s voice trembled, on the verge of tears. Goddammit.

Thankfully, Frank took the initiative. “I don’t know about this ‘we’ stuff, but it’s late, and I’m tired. I’m going home.” He yawned and opened the door. David watched him, despondent.

“Hey,” Frank lightly punched David’s shoulder. “Don’t be like that. You’ll hear from me again.”

“Yeah, but when, Frank? In a week, a month, a year?”

Frank’s eyes darkened. “Don’t be like that. I’ve been - you know I’ve been busy with things.”

“Things, huh? Sure, Frank. Sure…”

“Hey.” Frank leaned into the car until his face nearly touched David’s. He could feel every exhalation against his skin. “You’ve always known who I am. You might have a problem with it, but you know: just because the shitbags who killed my family are gone, there are always others out there who need to be put down. I can’t change who I am, David.”

The last sentence came out sounding almost like a plea.

“You’re right,” David muttered, turning the key in the ignition. The car started up, the engine so quiet it barely made a sound. “You are who you are, and I am who I am. We can’t live our lives trying to please other people all the time. That would just make us hypocrites, wouldn’t it?”

Frank opened his mouth to speak.

It was in that moment that David kissed him.


End file.
